The Stereotyped Dinings!....

Mrs. & Mr. Bala,
You have been invited for dinner
on
15th October 2008
Time: 8 PM
Venue: #3, Krishna
- Mrs & Mr Jain

"You have been invited for dinner".. Will you say no? Neither did I...

It was hardly a month after my wedding & hardly had spent a few days in Mumbai, when my husband came home after work & gave me this small invitation card. I was totally surprised to see an invitation card for Dinner!.. The moment i saw the card, I started nagging my husband, "Do you guys invite each other like this??", "Too much!!", "Why would they print a card for dinner?", "Is he some big shot kind??", "Do we also have to print cards like this in case we invite ppl for dinner?", "How many did he invite?, How many did he print?".... so on & on..... Got tired with my non-stop non-sense questions, my husband replied that senior officers will invite their juniors this way & its optional to print those cards & "Be prepared tomorrow evening!"....



Having purchased so many sarees during my wedding, i decided to wear a pattu saree for the occasion! :-) This being the very first outing for me in Mumbai I was too much excited!! So the next day i cooked lesser than usual ;-), had a hair wash, selected a saree, pressed it, selected matching imitation jewellery etc., etc... Once my husband was back home, i was almost ready! Time was just 6 PM & i was fully dressed up!!.. (I wasnt this excited even on my wedding.. & I was the last one to enter the hall on my engagement after a day long toiling in my parlour!)



Slowly my husband got ready as there was 2 hours more.. As for myself, I was adjusting my saree, my hairstyle, my makeover etc as & when I crossed the mirror.. Tired of what I was doing & also with a little panic that I might tend to change the saree or something at the last moment, cleverly my husband said that we would better start..! Though the time was just 7, we pushed off to their place.. On the way he remembered that we should give them a bouquet & diverted to a bouquet vendor.. Quickly we selected one & off we drove to the Jain's residence...



The Jains had invited a few more officers like Bala, but they were all bachelors & we were the only couple.. It was just 7.20PM when we arrived there.. Very much on-time!!! 40 minutes before & we were the first to reach as well.. :-) After handing over the bouquet to Mrs.Jain, I sat in one comfortable couch adjusting my saree now n then..



After some 15 minutes, the remaining gang of bachelors arrived.. Mr.Jain then got up & asked me first if i would need some 'drinks' (defence men respect other officer's wives first & that too the youngest one among the crowd!!) He had actually asked me about hot drinks.. But then i being so naive, couldnt really understand what he meant.. My husband came to my rescue & confessed that I am 'teetotaller'.. What the heck!!!... (Obviously I am!) Finally I settled with a glass of mango juice & some small-eats... Time was 8PM..



Then came the round of hot drinks! I have now left concentrating on my plate & was seriously eyeing what my husband was doing.. He too was eyeing me now n then & then happily settled with 2 glasses of his favourite drink.. In the Jain's house there were only 2 teetotallers at that stage. The other person apart from me was another bachelor officer, a slim, short & fair guy (as white as a plain sheet!). I learnt that he has just joined & he has not tasted any of these yet.. But the bachelor gang were not jobless enough to spare him.. So the game or rather the ritual of "Aur peeyo...." started for him... Meanwhile i felt that my hunger devil was back into action.. So i kept nibbling at the small-eats like pakoras, chips, fried peanuts etc etc etc! So many to name even.. Whatever you may say, my hunger was at its peak & i couldnt cheat it by feeding these small-eats!



It was almost 9.30 PM & suddenly Mr.Jain said "CHEERS!!"... Obviously I got startled not just because of the shrill voice i heard, but the entire audience, including my husband were watching me rather staring at me.. Why? Anything funny on me?? I looked at my dear husband... He was half smiling & indicated that i should now drop those nasty pakoras & pick up my mango juice & raise it high like the rest... How will i know!!? I thought only hot-drinkers should join.. Never ever knew that mango-juicers can join too!.. Poor me!! So i slowly raised & before that, ppl have started tasting their drinks!! hmmmm.....!



The round of drinks was served for the next hour and a half!.. Time 11PM...! I have seriously not in my entire life crossed my dinner time more than 10PM...! Drinks & heavy work related discussions were going on... It seemed that noone had the slightest idea of atleast checking out what was going to be served for dinner.. Also i couldnt smell any cooking inside.. Moreover Mrs Jain was also seated right beside me. Yeah you are right! I was also thinking the same.. I didnt see her move from her place right from the time we came.. I was very seriously thinking whether she had cooked anything for us! :-(

Meanwhile these bachelor guys & the married men were all laughing & were talking in Hindi man! AGAIN!.. My husband used to look at me & ask me in Hindi if i were able to follow any of those they spoke.. I too gave him a stern look - a warning signal which meant:

1. Is it that important for me?? I am damn hungry man!
2. Now why do you want to ask me in front of all in a language that they too understand?! Why cant you ask in Tamil instead???!!
3. Have we come here for dinner or something else? Will they serve us dinner or can we leave soon? PLEASE!!

My husband was least bothered about my look!! He started explaining what they all just spoke & laughed... He was by the way explaining to me in Hindi & English..! And i had to put up & listen with a false smile.. My hunger moaning turned out into a legal pain right now.. TIME 11.45PM!!

GOD!...

Now suddenly i turned towards the other teetotaller who was sitting opposite to me.. He was looking at the ceiling! What was he gaping at!!! I then looked at my husband.. He was on his third drink & on a serious discussion about some engine!!! I was going to faint for sure! Suddenly my nostrils caught up some ghee melting aroma.. Heaven!! But wait... What?? Are they cooking now?? Who is cooking??? When will i ever get to see the cooked dishes?? Will i faint before that happens? I came to know that Mrs Jain had already finished cooking before we came & the reheating process was going on..! Seriously i tell you, one must be a saint or you should have had a small dine-out before you go for dinner to these officer's place!! I mean it!

TIME 12AM!.. The next day has started..! "Help yourselves!" I could hear Mrs & Mr Jain inviting us all with profound happiness to the dining hall! I dragged myself to the dining table.. I was least bothered about my saree right now! I didnt have energy to lift my plate even!.. Finally the most awaited dinner was served.. As they were Rajasthanis they served their typical Rajasthini food.. I didnt know what it was like, but i kept eating whatever was served. See there is one more disadvantage in this officer's dinner party.. Varieties of dishes will be served & in huge amounts which can neither be denied nor you can leave it back in your plates! Already you would be perturbed of the "very late" dinner timing, meanwhile you would have lost your hunger n appetite & cultivated a new pain due to which you wouldnt feel like eating..!! Teek hai! ;-) But continuosly yours plates will be refilled.. Mind it.. I was adjusting to a level.. But at the back of my mind I have decided.. "Am not going to eat more than what i feel like...!! Whatever, Whomever thinks!!" While eating too, these people were talking about their work & work pressure!.. GOD!

Suddenly i turned to my 'teetotaller-companion'.. He was laughing alone! What for?!! My GOD! His face which was snow white before was pinkish now as though he was blushing!! I slowly turned towards my husband & asked him to look at him.. On seeing him, my husband reported that this could be a little side-effect as he had drunk a lot the very first time!!.. Guys, he didnt stop laughing at any point of time!! And the most funniest part was he even noticed me looking at him surprised & was sharing the laugh with me! Already I was struggling to eat.. Now gone!! After I had seen him laughing like this, did the rest of the members present at the table realise...! He didnt speak but kept laughing alone... I felt sorry for him.. Suddenly he opened his mouth & said that whatever he was hearing around him was like that of 'echo' & he felt as though he is standing in a tourist spot called 'Echo Point' in Mahabaleshwar!!.. I wanted to give one thud on his head...! How was he able to speak like this even in such a crisis??!!!!

Finally my teetotaller gave up his laughing, blushing & also eating, & walked to the couch where he was first seated & dozed off! Enough of seeing those funny & slightly annoying moments, i decided to complete whatever I could & without looking at my husband, i 'closed' my plate! I could hear Mrs & Mr Jain asking me to eat more..., but i frankly said "Thank you! am done!".. I then went and started watching TV hopefully waiting for my husband to complete & start home.. TIME 12.45AM.. No way.. The rest of them in the table seemed to be heavily glued to their seats.. Finally the other devil in me - Sleep, came over & i could feel myself dozing off, hopefully giving company to my teetotaller who was already in his deepest dreams..!

TIME 1.10AM. I could here some movement in the dining hall & they had all finally decided to do justice to me!.. Once all of us were seated back in our respective couches, I was waiting for my husband to speak up to leave home.. I didnt know what he was waiting for when suddenly Mrs Jain came up with large bowls of home-made kulfis..! I was DEVASTATED!! You cannot speak up now, because this was not part of the dinner, this was the dessert! I couldnt eat any & i was playing with the spoon & cup & i could see that the kulfi had started melting already... I then decided to have one or two spoons & then leave it aside, when i saw Mr Jain now coming up with another set of kulfis - slightly different color!.. I was now confused!.. What kind of people are they??! Where they of a mindset that our mouths can themselves do instant digestion!??! GOD knows!! He came happily announcing that he had done these & those were done by his wife & wanted us to taste n tell which one was better!! Didnt these people have a better time to play? It was 1.30AM guys!! In next 5 minutes i was hopelessly playing with 2 sets of cups & spoons.. I tasted one spoon from this & one from that.. Thats it! Even GOD cannot help me eat after this.. I had a feel that my saree might tear anytime as my belly was getting bloated!!!

2AM guys!... Finally my husband & the other guys decided to leave the Jain's residence! I didnt know what i thought at that moment... But I SMILED!.......